“You seriously cannot tell me you don’t care.” Lisa pressed, worry blatant in her blue eyes.
“I can, and I have. I really don’t care Lisa. I really did.” I repeated for the fifteenth time.
“But they’ll die!” Lisa cried, aghast. We had received a memo from the highest authority: Anfanasia had deserted and should be killed on sight. Anyone with her should be eliminated as well. I felt a twinge of regret for William and a scowl slipped onto my face. A new red welt was raised on my arm as I drew the rubber band back as far is it would go and let it snap back for the twenty-seventh time, trying to bring back the numbness.
“Then they brought that fate upon themselves. And don’t tell me I should care because of who they were and how much they used to matter to me. That day has passed and a brighter sun is rising on this one. So please stop crying over spilled milk especially when it has already been cleaned up and forgotten.” I said the last sentence softly, pulling Lisa into a comforting embrace.
“I just wish I could go with them.” Lisa said. I sighed, my breath ruffling her golden hair. Then I held her at arm’s length and smiled sweetly.
“I was planning on going home after this mission. They can’t trace me there. Why don’t you come with me and we’ll stay?” I questioned, squeezing her shoulders gently. A dazzling smile broke across her face, lifting my heart and coaxing a tiny grin in return.
“Are you serious? But what if they don’t like me? And what about when I get all old and wrinkly but you’re all still perfect?” she wailed.
“Yes, I’m serious. They’ll love you. Of course they will. You’re like a little ball of sunshine without the burn and blister factor.” surprised, Lisa giggled. Then she sobered and ran her hands through her hair. She turned away and I frowned, puzzled.
“But I’ll be an old human surrounded by beautiful, ageless, and mostly immortal people until I die.” Lisa muttered sadly.
“Not unless you want to.” I answered quickly and with complete conviction.
“You would do that for me?” Lisa turned to face me again, awe and wonder clear on her face.
“Of course. Whatever it takes for you to be happy.” I said decisively. Lisa squealed happily and ran into my arms. I hugged her tightly, breathing in the sweet scent that came from her heritage.
“Breakfast?” the voice came from the doorway like it did every morning without fail. Lisa and I jumped apart. Eric watched us with amused eyes.
“Yeah, that would probably be a good idea.” I answered, moving toward my mini-fridge. Eric looked hurt and I shot him a confused look. Lisa caught on quicker and her puzzled expression gave way to a small smile.
“I’m gonna go. I have a feeling you guys need some alone time.” Lisa grinned at me slyly then hurried out of the room and shut the door firmly behind her. I was caught in Eric’s arms immediately. His mouth was warm and dangerously close to comforting when he kissed me. I sank into his embrace while I tried to ignore my mind, which was raging at me to stop, stop, stop! My heart and body yearned for someone else but I blocked myself out and let Eric’s unruly powers wash over me. He pulled me onto my head and tipped his head back. I drank deeply and let the heat of his blood take over. When he reached for the button of my jeans I stopped him.
“Not yet. The time’s not right.” I told him truthfully. There was still a day to go. Annoyance flashed in Eric’s eyes, surprising me completely. Then compassionate understanding took its place.
“Hey, who died yesterday?” Eric asked suddenly.
“I don’t know. Some little freshman.”
“Really? I heard it was Alicia.”
“I wish. She told me she would out me as a vampire if I didn’t break up with you.” I groaned, narrowing my eyes maliciously. Eric stood up and fiddled with his keys. Worry shone in those gray eyes and turned them darker.
“What did you say?”
“I told her to go dig a hole and die in it.”
“Thank you.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem. So are we actually going to school today?”
“You go ahead. I have some things to take care of for tomorrow night.” Eric cast his gaze to the floor.
“Really? Like what?”
“Dinner reservations and a hotel room.”
“Oh. Why can’t I come with you?”
“I think you’ve missed enough school.”
“And you haven’t?” I asked playfully.
“No. I haven’t. I want to get detention.” Eric answered. We both laughed but my stomach twisted and my heart thumped morosely in my chest.
“Ready to go?” Lisa’s voice chimed into my sadness.
“Of course. I’ll meet you outside in a second.” I told Lisa distractedly. I watched Eric fidget. Lisa saw the troubled look in my eyes, nodded, and left.
“I’ll see you after school.” Eric kissed my forehead tenderly and rushed out. I knew he would do what he had told me he was going to do first to avoid suspicion, and I knew where he was going after that. Peeking out the window, I watched him carefully. As soon as his car was gone I bounded down the stairs and dove into Lisa’s car.
“Drive here.” I commanded breathlessly, handing her the MapQuest directions I had printed out the night before. Lisa glanced at me curiously.
“Why?” she questioned, but she drove along the roads highlighted on the map.
“Alicia asked me for a final request before I killed her. She told me Eric was going to ditch today. Without me.”
“Yes and yes.”
“She said he was going to her house.”
“Why?”
“Jeesh with the why’s. I don’t know, but she asked me to change my appearance and wait for him as her.”
“And you’re actually going to do it? Alicia had it in for you from day one. Why should you do what she told you? What if it’s a trap?”
“Then I’ll have to deal with it! I have to go Lisa. I have to know. Admit it, you would do the same if it were Steve.” I teased, running a hand through my hair.
“Yeah. Well, change now, cause we’re almost there.” Lisa said grudgingly T grinned at her angelically then released my strangle-hold on my powers, imagining copper hair and green eyes. My powers bounded forward like an excited puppy, eager for attention. I smiled at the pleasure of the release. My only problem came when I tried to pull my power back in. It resisted, a pit bull against a choke chain.[1] I scowled and forced my power back in. Finally, a whipped mutt, it sank back down and hid again.The car swerved and I gasped.
“What was that for?” I asked irritably, Alicia’s catty voice full of annoyance.
“I just didn’t expect you to look so much like her.” Lisa explained.
“One flaw.” I pointed to an unruly streak of black buried within my new short copper hair.
“Thank god. The resemblance is still totally creepy. Oh, we’re here.” Lisa announced, pulling the car to a gentle stop.
“Thanks.” I opened the door and hopped out. Lisa gasped again as I had to grip the handle of the door to keep from falling over. Scowling I rolled up the legs of my jeans and the sleeves of my sweater. Alicia was so much shorter than me.
“You okay?” Lisa asked.
“She’s a shrimp. And I think she weighs more than I do. Probably more than Anna!” I exclaimed. Focusing on Anna’s lilting walk, I made my way up to the door. It was unlocked but her parents were gone. More than unsettled, I searched for the kitchen. I took a soda from the fridge and settled in front of the TV to wait.
* * * * * * *
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew was warm lips on the skin of my stomach and scruffy hair brushing my chest. Screaming, I jerked away.
“Hey, hey. It’s okay.” a warm, deep voice murmured comfortingly. Strong arms pulled me against a muscled chest. Then someone’s mouth descended on mine, moving in a way I had come to recognize.
“Eric?” I questioned tentatively after I pulled away, shocked.
“Who else would have a key to your house?” he chuckled, brushing his lips along my collarbone.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, trying to control my breathing. Eric stared at me, puzzled.
“The same thing I’m here for every Friday. No strings attached, remember?” he thumped me on the head lightly. My heart slammed wildly against my ribcage. Eric didn’t seem to notice the shock on my face as he was pulling my shirt off. My body was limp and he wasted no time taking advantage of that fact. My clothes were on the floor before I came to, shaking myself. When I felt his hand brush skin that had never been touched I screamed again, scurrying backwards.
“Are you okay? Oh god, I didn’t hurt you did I?” Eris asked, seeming genuinely concerned for the first time. I reached for my clothes and put on everything I could reach while Eric watched me with wide, worried eyes. When he reached for me I backed up again, on my feet in seconds.
“Don’t touch me.” I whimpered.
“What?”
“Don’t. Touch. Me!” I commanded with complete conviction and a steady, powerful voice.
“I don’t understand.”
“How long did you think you could play two girls? Did you really think you could do this with me then go right back to your other girlfriend? How long did you really think you could lie? Every Friday, and you thought I really wouldn’t care?” I raged, my voice rising to a dangerous volume. Eric winced.
“I thought… you told me you didn’t care!”
“Are you really that stupid?”
“Stupid enough to trust you? Yeah. And I guess I was wrong.” Eric hissed. He snatched up his clothes and threw them on hastily. Then he walked out, slamming the door behind him. I sat down on the couch but it felt more like falling. Tears flowed from my eyes and sobs tore from my throat, which was still raw from the day before. Slowly, my heart-break began to fade, paving the way for fury. I wiped my eyes roughly and downed the rest of my soda. I stood, glad my legs were steady and solid. I grimaced as my wrist throbbed and was surprised to see a dark bruise shading my skin just below the crease of my wrist. Scowling I punched Lisa’s phone number into my phone.
“So what happened? What’s wrong?” she asked when I didn’t respond. Tears began to cloud my vision again but I wiped them away angrily. My fury was rising to a level that only grew as more time passed. The blood lust raged inside of me, my vision tingeing red. My powers seethed, quivering with the need for an outlet.
“I fell asleep. When I woke up he had pulled my shirt up and was kissing my stomach. I shoved him away and he told me why he was there. I went limp and he- oh Lisa- he tried to have sex with me!” I blurted angrily.
“Well of course he did, he’s your boyfriend and… oh shit!” Lisa exclaimed, swearing for the first time in months. It shocked me right out of my fuzzy stupor.
“Yeah. He’s been coming here every Friday to hook up with Alicia. I chewed him out and he left mad, slamming the door behi- oh my god!” I yelped.
“What?”
“He’s going to be going to the school now! What’s my excuse?” I racked my brain desperately but came up empty.
“Stop freaking out. Don’t say you’re not. I know you.” Lisa said calmly. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The red tinge slowly faded from my vision. My powers calmed reluctantly.
“Okay. I’m calm. So should I come to school or what?”
“Nope. I’m going to come get you.”
“Okay. What are we…”
“Don’t ask. I want it to be a surprise.”
“Alright. How long do I have to wait? My backpack is in the house so I need the back up bottles in your car.”
“You know how I drive. Half an hour at best.” Lisa said. I snorted. The drive would have taken me maybe five minutes. A reasonable driver following the speed limit would make it in twenty.
“My grandmother could probably drive faster than you.” I responded. When we both realized how ridiculous that statement was, we started to laugh. It took us a while to stop but when we finally did Lisa said goodbye and hung up. I ended the call with a sigh. The black mist enveloped me, erasing Alicia’s features and replacing them with my own once again. Exhausted, I let the black mist continue to swirl around me, graceful tendrils curling around me. Lacking the strength to rein in my powers, I tried to keep my eyes open. I dangled in that half awake, half asleep state where you close your eyes for a second and open them to find out ten minutes have passed instead of the seconds you expected. So the time passed in a flash. I must have been in one of the sleep phases when Lisa showed up because she came out of nowhere, freaking out like always.
“Shadow! Please Shadow, wake up!” she was begging. I struggled awake, rubbing at my eyes. My movements made the graceful mist swirl faster, agitated.
“Hmm?” I asked softly, smiling as the black mist twirled over me in soothing patterns.
“Oh god!” I turned to see Lisa’s relieved face. She bunched herself up to jump into my arms but seemed to think better of it. Looking at her I saw her arms were covered in scratches that oozed blood.
“What happened?” I inquired, brushing my fingers along her injured arm. When I pulled back, I was mesmerized by the blood smeared on my fingers.
“I tried to touch you, but the mist…” she didn’t have to finish because the mist showed me. We both watched, entranced, as the smoky black tendrils of mist that encased me started to swirl in a new patter, creeping up my arm. It covered my hand and our eyes widened as the blood on my hand slowly disappeared. The mist thickened, becoming more obsidian than opaque. Lisa and I looked at each other, frightened. Then I took a deep breath.
“It’s never done that before. I think it…” I had to stop as the bloodlust came without warning, threatening to overcome my tenuous hold on self-control.
“Here.” Recognizing my problem immediately, Lisa handed me a bottle of synthetic blood. I swallowed it down, trying to ignore its awful taste when I had so recently been reunited with human blood. Lisa kept handing me bottles until I looked down and realized I had drank more than a dozen. Frustration welled within me.
“Sorry.” I whispered. Lisa tilted her head, smiling at me.
“It’s okay. You were saying?” she probed. I shook myself and refocused.
“I think it has something to do with this.” I held up my wrist. Lisa and I inhaled sharply. The bruise had darkened to almost solid black and was starting too from a shape I couldn’t recognize.
“How long has it been there?”
“Lighter earlier, after Eric left. Now this.” I answered, running a finger over the slightly raised skin.
“Weird. Um, can you put away your powers, or do whatever you do to make the mist stuff go away?”
“Oh. Yeah. Sorry!” I laughed weakly. My powers fought harder than ever to stay out but eventually I forced them to retreat. I smiled a little and let myself relax. Lisa smiled back and squeezed my hand.
“Alright. Let’s go.” she hauled me to my feet. I followed her, confused, as she tugged me out the door.
“Go where?” I asked.
“It’s a surprise.” Lisa answered, grinning at me over the top of our car. I scowled at her for a second but then a kind of gleeful anticipation swept over me. Lisa cracked jokes the entire drive keeping me light-hearted and laughing the whole way. It was great to feel happy again. When we finally stopped, Lisa pulled up in front of an adorable little boutique. Just by eyeing it I could tell that though its outside appearance was old-fashioned and unadorned, it was a gathering place for those with big pocketbooks.
“What the heck?” I sent Lisa a puzzled glance. She just smiled and tugged me through the door. A pleasant chime sounded from the bells attached to the door. Immediately a beautiful girl appeared out of nowhere to help us.
“What may I do for you?” she asked elegantly. The girl had a sweet voice with a slight southern accent. Her strawberry blonde hair drew attention to her soft blue eyes and pale freckled skin. I recognized her as a Sunlighter- human servants of vampires- immediately. The girl evidently remembered her training for her eyes widened with fear and respect.
“Forgive me, Lady Shadow.” she curtseyed. Lisa pressed her lips together to stifle her laughter while I rolled my eyes dramatically.
“We came to pick up the dresses I ordered three days ago.” Lisa said, pulling the girl back to a standing position.
“Which ones?” the girl asked, raising an elegant eyebrow and sweeping a hand toward the racks of dresses at the back of the store.
“I’ll get them. Find something to cover her eyes please, Ms. Jameson.” Lisa fluttered a hand in my direction and headed for the most expensive looking dresses.
“Of course Miss Sanders.” the girl nodded and unwrapped the cashmere scarf from around her neck. I tried to protest but she deftly tied it over my eyes, blocking my vision with soft green fabric.
“What is your name?” I asked the girl as she led me to what Lisa yelled to me was a dressing room in the back.
“Lumen. Like the girl from that old serial killer show, Dexter.” she answered. A bright smile formed on my lips.
“Oh, I loved that show!” I gushed. We chatted away happily for another ten minutes while Lisa did whatever she was doing.
“I was so glad when Rita- oh. My. Gosh!” Lumen squeaked suddenly. I jumped, startled.
“What?” I asked, worried.
“Those are the most beautiful dresses I have ever seen.” Lumen sighed.
“They’d better be. I paid big bucks to have these restored.” Lisa crowed.
“Foot in.” Lumen and Lisa helped me into the dress. It was heavy in the way a ball gown would be, but a bit lighter than usual. The feel of the fabric against my skin was comfortingly familiar.
“Egyptian silk.” I murmured. Stark realization hit me just as Lumen pulled the scarf from in front of my eyes.
“Oh.” the other girls breathed, awestruck. My bottom lip quivered as I stared at my reflection. My eyes were wide in my pale face with its ocean of black curls framing it. My skin was a light, blush pink where it showed anywhere else. I remembered looking at myself in a mirror centuries ago with a handsome boy behind me, a boy who would become my husband. The bodice of the gown clung to me in an extremely suggestive way, or it would if I filled it out completely. The waist was tight, showing off my waspy waistline. From there the dress cascaded to the ground in graceful waves the color of fresh blood. I ran a hand over the gold embroidery, feeling the swords and flames under my fingertips.
“Gloves.” it was the only thing I could think to say.
“We got new ones.” Lisa told me softly. She handed me a pair of golden silk gloves that shimmered in the light.
“It doesn’t seem to fit quite right up top. You’re sure this was tailored for her?” Lumen asked.
“Just watch.” I shushed her. Lisa flashed an impish grin before running to lock the door and close all the black-out shades. When she gave me the all clear, I let go. The black mist poured out of me, wreaking its clever change quickly. Within moments I was eighteen again and the dress could just barely hold me. Though I was ready for a fight when I pulled my powers back in, they came easily. I snuck a quick look at my wrist while the other girls gushed over the beauty of the dress and how stunning I looked in it. A dark mist seemed to hover over the ‘bruise’, separate from the main body of the mist, and the shape was beginning to refine.
“Yes, it’s great, but what’s it for?” I asked, interrupting their conversation about how they would do my hair.
“prom silly, duh!” Lumen giggled. I rolled my eyes.
“Okay. Graduation is formal, so I had a different dress for you. Please don’t be mad at me.” Lisa begged.
“Why would I?” I asked quizzically as the dress came off and the blindfold went back on.
“Oh, you’ll see.” she muttered. Lumen helped me slip into another dress, one that was much lighter and much more graceful. The blindfold was whipped off and I froze, flashing back through time to see it hanging from a rack in an otherwise empty closte in Mesa, Arizona. Then I fainted.
* * * * * * *
I breathed out as my servants yanked the ties tight. They slid my shoes on then helped me up. Assured and confident, I stood steady in five-inch heels.
“Mirror?” I asked politely.
“Here.” Ansa turned me to face it. I watched a pleased smile form on my lips. The dress was white, a pristine and snowy silver-white just a few shades paler than my skin but just as perfect and smooth. The bodice flaunted my figure without giving too much detail of my curves, showing only the tops of my breasts over the sweet-heart neckline. The waist pulled in tightly like all my dresses did, again showing the slight waist I had been so proud of. Then the dress flared out a little, falling to the floor in a serene waterfall of material. Unlike my ball gown, where the material had been gathered to form waves and tiers, the material fell straight to the floor. The train was nonexistent, an obvious break from custom. The obligatory embroidery was sown into the hem in silver floss, invisible to the human eye. The sleeves were cut, showing skin underneath, connecting at my elbow, then falling away from my lower arms as I lifted my hands. The dress was breath-taking, but…
“It needs color.” I decided. Searching through my jewelry box I quickly found what I was looking for. The chain of the necklace was white-gold and looked a mess when it was laid down. However, when I put it on it looked as though I had an intricate collar of sapphires caught in a web of silver-gold chain around my neck. Hanging from this collar was another chain. That chain was made with thick links, the kind used to chain prisoners to dungeon walls. From this hung a huge, unpolished sapphire that rested gently upon my chest.
“Perfect, my lady. Now for your hair.” Ansa reached for a brush to smooth down my wild curls.
“No, leave it.” I responded, struck by the wild-looking beauty in the mirror.
“My lady, they are ready for you.” Elizabeth announced.
“Thank you.” I told her. Butterflies tumbled in my stomach.
“You’ll be fine. Remember that I love you.” my mother told me from the bed. I nodded weakly and then followed her out the door. The music was just starting again, so we’d made it in time. My maids went down the stairs ahead of us, my bridesmaids. Then I linked arms with my mother and father and we floated gracefully down the stairs and up the aisle. I already knew the decorations would be extravagant and the guests plentiful. So all my attention was on my husband. Tears leaked from his eyes as a soft smile formed, turning those addictive lips up. I thought I knew then that we would never be apart.
“I do.” we both said when prompted. When we kissed it was soft and loving. We would live happily ever after…
For a few hours.
Then I would kill him and bring him back to life only to have him break my heart just over a hundred years later.
* * * * * * *
I gasped awake, tears flooding red-tinged visions of the boutique.
‘Shadow. We can’t touch you, but I need you to know you’re okay. Nobody’s going to hurt you.” Lisa said calmly, bringing me back fully. I yanked at my powers, sending them ratcheting back into their internal prison.
“Back up!” I warned Lisa throatily as the bloodlust tried to sweep logic away from me. She didn’t slicing open her wrist instead. Mesmerized, I watched the blood flow. Most of me wanted to reach for her arm and take, take, take! Yet that little part of me that held my conscience had me turning away and reaching for my clothes. I changed quickly and fled. I ran for hours until, tired, I finally collapsed against a tree in the forest. The tears came again when I realized where I had unwittingly let my feet carry me. The little clearing was full of sunshine and butterflies. It made me mad and sad at the same time as I wondered how the world dared to be so bright when inside I was so dark.
“That lying, back-stabbing jerkoff! Why?” I shouted, my eyes misty and my throat raw. The pain tore through me, the triple whammy making me clutch my head and whimper in pain. William’s and Eric’s betrayals along with my bloodlust started a fire within me as I thought of how wrong I’d been the day before when I swore I’d never be hurt again. The loss of Sam, which had always been kept in a hidden part of my heart, burst forth and brought with it renewed grief and anger. The layers of fury built upon each other until my entire being was consumed with rage.
Grimacing, I dove into the pond. I rested at the bottom, eyes closed and breath stilled, until my body grew numb with cold. The anger ran its course. If I cried it was lost in the water. When the tumble of fierce emotions were gone I was left with a deep sorrow. Nothing else, no other feeling, could intrude. Eventually even that faded, numbed by the cold in my body. As night fell, I climbed out. Kneeling on the ground, I called out to my powers.
“Night, please dull my pain until I can withstand its horrible pressure. Give me strength to continue. I beg you to comfort me in my time of greatest need. Humbly, I plead for your solace until the time when I grow past your reach. Give me strength to withstand Fire’s smothering embrace. Give me the will to finish what I have started. Please, Night. Just help me finish this mission. Please, for Lunnette.”
Power swirled around me angrily as warmth rushed into me, reigniting my emotions. Then a freezing wind brushed me for a moment. When it was gone I finally let my breath start again. While anger still burned in my mind and sadness still weighed on my heart, it was bearable now: still there, but bearable. My powers rested easily, and the bruise on my wrist was gone, though a hint of black mist circled around my wrist.
“Thank you. I swear I will see this through, even if I have to kill him. And if I do kill him, it’s in your name.” I swore. Then I shook the leftover cold and numbness from my body and headed home. [1] If you ever do that to your dog, I personally will hunt you down and kill you. How would you like it if someone did that to you? Change your mind yet?
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